[His head felt... fuzzy. Slipping in and out of sleep, only making the passage of time harder for him to pin down - but he was certain it'd only been a few days since he popped back into existing, right on the border of Empatheias.
Didn't take very long for people to find him, resting weakly against a nearby tree and just processing everything. Thinking, lost in his thoughts as he usually was until words broke him out of it - some held worry, concern - others anger and on the verge of scolding him for being so reckless. Same old, same old. Generally what he expected to hear from those he built a relationship with, but he was too tired to really say much in return as they brought him to the hospital to rest up. Didn't really have much choice in the matter, and even then he probably would have gotten an earful if he did try to protest.
More reasons on why silence was the better option, not that he lasted long before passing out again.
It was only a blur of colors and noises during those moments when he did wake up. Flashes of faces and brief conversations here and there, some he can remember. Most he couldn't, but he thought he noticed Fuuka's presence a few times, and yet with how often he thought he heard Aki yelling at him, it was hard to figure out what was him dreaming and what wasn't.
It's only now, staring dully up at the ceiling, that he felt more like himself and capable of thinking a little more clearly. Exhausted still, sure, but not as much as he had been. Recalling, albeit slowly, everything prior to him tumbling into that span of blackness and nonsensical pieces of... who the hell knows. He recalled the pain, at the very least. Splattering of crimson against the ground, sounds of a hammer cracking bone after putting all his strength into that last hit before collapsing to a heap on the floor...
Fuuka's face, before things went dark.
Immediately, he shoved that memory out of his mind. Face twisting in a grimace, because it wasn't the first time he'd seen that expression on her before. Hell, wasn't the first time he died in front of her either, but knowing he put her through that pain again made it where he couldn't help lifting both hands to cover his face with a loud, drawn out sigh.
Didn't take much for him to realize he fucked up big time. He could have prevented his death easily, wasn't like this monster was tougher than all the other shit he's faced, but if he hadn't been so caught up in thinking back to that stupid bullshit argument - if he'd simply been paying attention to his surroundings, he would have noticed things sooner. Could have easily blocked the attack, rather than just dive in front of it like the dumbass he was, too desperate in keeping Fuuka safe without properly thinking things through like he usually would.
And for that mistake, he supposed he really did deserve getting some common fuckin' sense knocked into him.]
[Fuuka's world had shattered for a second time in just a few months.
The first time was when Prompto departed. There was a hole in her heart, a silence in the mornings, an absence of warm, strong arms. Her light had gone, and for awhile, everything was darkness. It took a long while to process that grief. Even now, when Prompto was brought up, some part of her heart still yearned terribly. But he was gone. Their time was over. She had to accept that.
The second time was when Shinjiro died.
Things had been tense between them recently, and it only escalated on their most recent hunt— something they had done at the suggestion of others to help them sort things out. Surely if they had to focus on a common enemy, lest they put themselves in danger, they would be forced to cooperate, and maybe concern if one of them got hurt would help remind them what was important.
She got so caught up, she hadn't warned him.
Again, it was her fault. Again, she let Shinjiro die.
The week following his death had been exhausting. The emotions she felt when she knew he was revived were mixed— relieved, but also ashamed. Guilty.
Yet she went to him, patiently awaiting his waking.
When he finally comes to, Fuuka is asleep on the bed, forefront curled over next to him. She's so close, in fact, that the arm ends up lightly bumping into her head, and a soft sound escapes her as she rouses.]
... Shinjiro...?
[She pulls back, and it might be apparent that her eyes are red and swollen from crying. At the sight of him, conscious, her eyes start to glisten again, and she brings up a fist to rub at her eye.]
I'm... so sorry...
Then I will obviously have to make it up with cute things!! :>
[It took him a second to register the presence of someone next to him, the movement causing him to freeze completely. In fact, he was actually a little startled by it, having not considered the possibility that there would be anyone else still in the room - especially with how it was either super late or very early in the morning. He wasn't exactly sure which, right at this moment, but when he heard her voice, Shinji realized how dumb it was to think it'd be anyone else.
Slowly he lifted his hands to peer over at her, head tilting just enough to get the teal hair into view. Partly to confirm it was indeed, Fuuka, but knowing she was still okay... well, it did help to set his mind at ease when the last thing he recalled was her being in danger. Didn't quite keep him from wincing inward when realizing that not only had she been sleeping by his side, but it looked like she spent most of it crying.
And that alone made him want to disappear to anywhere but here. The corner of his mouth twisting at the apology, temporarily breaking that neutral expression as he let his arms drop weightlessly back onto the bed.
He really was an idiot. Stupid, stupid, idiot.]
If you're only going to sit here and apologize over nothing, than stop it. [It was quiet, though not intentionally. With how little he'd really talked these past few days, and how tired he still was, it seemed to be default volume. His eyes already looking away from her and back towards the ceiling, if simply so he could focus on anything but her. He'd done enough of that already, after all, and it was for that reason he was even in this freakin' hospital bed to start with.]
I should've been more careful. That's all there is to it.
We both— [A slight pause after that word, for extra emphasis. Fuuka certainly has become more assertive in her time here.] should have been more careful.
[She sighs, breath shaking slightly as she lowers her hand, and she blinks away the tears. Crying isn't going to help either of them, but... whenever she thinks about the fact that she might have lost Shinjiro forever, the same way she did Prompto—
Her hands curl into fists in her lap, and she closes her eyes briefly, as though bracing herself. Crying isn't going to help.
She lets out a breath.]
You know what happened the last time you didn't talk to anyone about things.
[It's not an accusation. Her hand comes up and rubs her shoulder.]
That's why I kept pressing. I worry for you.
[She folds her arms back on the bed, resting her chin on them as she looks at the teen.]
You're my closest friend here... you know?
[Her closest friend... and someone extremely important to her. Someone she...
Could be closer with, perhaps. If he feels the same way...]
[Her words caused his eyes to narrow, focusing more intently on a spot in the ceiling if only to try and suppress that low rumble of annoyance. Though he didn't make any effort to protest her thoughts, he still felt she was being stubborn about taking the blame to something he didn't see her at fault for - but perhaps, in that regard, he was being just as persistent in viewing himself as the problem.
Still, he wasn't in the mood to argue, nor try to persuade. Part of him knowing it'd only end up in another useless argument that he wasn't very interested in having. Not with how many the two of them seemed to have gotten into over the past few days prior to... well, this. Having her so close to tears already was also a helpful factor in keeping him from being his usual snarling self, but Fuuka generally brought out a softer side to him than he'd care to admit.
Even more so here than back home, apparently, which was why it was so difficult for him to keep up any walls around her. So when she brings up 'last time', Shinjiro visibly flinches and turns his head away. His jaw clenching because it wasn't like he didn't know that much already, hell it would have been stranger if Fuuka didn't care as much as she did, but hearing her say it out loud tugged at emotions he was still trying to sort out for himself.
And it was frustrating, because he still didn't know what to do about any of it.]
Yeah, I know. [A sigh, slowly letting his eyes travel back over to where she was resting in order to properly address her concerns. Or, at least one of them, in this case.] But that's not something you have to worry about. I wouldn't let it get that far.
[And he means it. Words stated so firmly, and much louder than his previous tone, that it was obvious he wanted her to understand that much, at least.]
[Fuuka holds his gaze, brow furrowing at the words.]
So losing control of your Persona is where you draw the line, but this is alright? Shinjiro!
[No, no. Fuuka won't allow this. She won't let Shinjiro hold anyone's life above his own. Not only is it not right, it's so wildly inaccurate and unfair to him.
A hard sigh.]
You're still so reckless when it comes to yourself. Haven't you realized how important you are to us?
[If she wasn't so tired, her judgment would probably be a bit better. But it isn't; and she reaches out and lightly brushes some of the bangs out of his eyes.]
You have to stop thinking like this. It's not helping anyone.
[Silence, broken only by the tiny crackles of electricity from the small dark grey cloud hovering just above him. No rain or snow, but blots of light that danced around like a looming storm not yet unleashed.
So it's obvious that Shinjiro is doing his best to subdue his frustrations and irritations while listening - because he's willing to listen. Let her vent or speak her mind - but the fact she's doing this now only caused him to curl his fingers around the sheets beneath him.
Funny, too, that he wasn't expecting Fuuka to be the one he'd end up having this talk with.]
So what? You sayin' I made the wrong choice in saving you? Because if that's the case, you're dumber than I thought.
[There's a scoff, because he still can't honestly believe he's having this conversation. If anything, he's doing what he can to deflect the topic from going too much deeper than it already potentially has. Likely why he's being a bit more blunt in his words than usual, but the moment he feels her hand brush against his face he's completely caught off guard. A sudden rush of red that went all the way up to his ears, before he's quickly trying to bat her away. It's very gently, and without much effort put into it, but it's also because he doesn't know how to respond to her being so sweet to him like this. :c]
I get it, Fuuka. I do, I fucked up, but if it means you're not the one sitting in this god damn bed then I'd do it all over again.
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rpers_reprieve2017-06-10 10:39 pm
♥ hey sup have a tsundere
Didn't take very long for people to find him, resting weakly against a nearby tree and just processing everything. Thinking, lost in his thoughts as he usually was until words broke him out of it - some held worry, concern - others anger and on the verge of scolding him for being so reckless. Same old, same old. Generally what he expected to hear from those he built a relationship with, but he was too tired to really say much in return as they brought him to the hospital to rest up. Didn't really have much choice in the matter, and even then he probably would have gotten an earful if he did try to protest.
More reasons on why silence was the better option, not that he lasted long before passing out again.
It was only a blur of colors and noises during those moments when he did wake up. Flashes of faces and brief conversations here and there, some he can remember. Most he couldn't, but he thought he noticed Fuuka's presence a few times, and yet with how often he thought he heard Aki yelling at him, it was hard to figure out what was him dreaming and what wasn't.
It's only now, staring dully up at the ceiling, that he felt more like himself and capable of thinking a little more clearly. Exhausted still, sure, but not as much as he had been. Recalling, albeit slowly, everything prior to him tumbling into that span of blackness and nonsensical pieces of... who the hell knows. He recalled the pain, at the very least. Splattering of crimson against the ground, sounds of a hammer cracking bone after putting all his strength into that last hit before collapsing to a heap on the floor...
Fuuka's face, before things went dark.
Immediately, he shoved that memory out of his mind. Face twisting in a grimace, because it wasn't the first time he'd seen that expression on her before. Hell, wasn't the first time he died in front of her either, but knowing he put her through that pain again made it where he couldn't help lifting both hands to cover his face with a loud, drawn out sigh.
Didn't take much for him to realize he fucked up big time. He could have prevented his death easily, wasn't like this monster was tougher than all the other shit he's faced, but if he hadn't been so caught up in thinking back to that stupid bullshit argument - if he'd simply been paying attention to his surroundings, he would have noticed things sooner. Could have easily blocked the attack, rather than just dive in front of it like the dumbass he was, too desperate in keeping Fuuka safe without properly thinking things through like he usually would.
And for that mistake, he supposed he really did deserve getting some common fuckin' sense knocked into him.]
you're like, one year late to this post :////
The first time was when Prompto departed. There was a hole in her heart, a silence in the mornings, an absence of warm, strong arms. Her light had gone, and for awhile, everything was darkness. It took a long while to process that grief. Even now, when Prompto was brought up, some part of her heart still yearned terribly. But he was gone. Their time was over. She had to accept that.
The second time was when Shinjiro died.
Things had been tense between them recently, and it only escalated on their most recent hunt— something they had done at the suggestion of others to help them sort things out. Surely if they had to focus on a common enemy, lest they put themselves in danger, they would be forced to cooperate, and maybe concern if one of them got hurt would help remind them what was important.
She got so caught up, she hadn't warned him.
Again, it was her fault. Again, she let Shinjiro die.
The week following his death had been exhausting. The emotions she felt when she knew he was revived were mixed— relieved, but also ashamed. Guilty.
Yet she went to him, patiently awaiting his waking.
When he finally comes to, Fuuka is asleep on the bed, forefront curled over next to him. She's so close, in fact, that the arm ends up lightly bumping into her head, and a soft sound escapes her as she rouses.]
... Shinjiro...?
[She pulls back, and it might be apparent that her eyes are red and swollen from crying. At the sight of him, conscious, her eyes start to glisten again, and she brings up a fist to rub at her eye.]
I'm... so sorry...
Then I will obviously have to make it up with cute things!! :>
Slowly he lifted his hands to peer over at her, head tilting just enough to get the teal hair into view. Partly to confirm it was indeed, Fuuka, but knowing she was still okay... well, it did help to set his mind at ease when the last thing he recalled was her being in danger. Didn't quite keep him from wincing inward when realizing that not only had she been sleeping by his side, but it looked like she spent most of it crying.
And that alone made him want to disappear to anywhere but here. The corner of his mouth twisting at the apology, temporarily breaking that neutral expression as he let his arms drop weightlessly back onto the bed.
He really was an idiot. Stupid, stupid, idiot.]
If you're only going to sit here and apologize over nothing, than stop it. [It was quiet, though not intentionally. With how little he'd really talked these past few days, and how tired he still was, it seemed to be default volume. His eyes already looking away from her and back towards the ceiling, if simply so he could focus on anything but her. He'd done enough of that already, after all, and it was for that reason he was even in this freakin' hospital bed to start with.]
I should've been more careful. That's all there is to it.
no subject
[She sighs, breath shaking slightly as she lowers her hand, and she blinks away the tears. Crying isn't going to help either of them, but... whenever she thinks about the fact that she might have lost Shinjiro forever, the same way she did Prompto—
Her hands curl into fists in her lap, and she closes her eyes briefly, as though bracing herself. Crying isn't going to help.
She lets out a breath.]
You know what happened the last time you didn't talk to anyone about things.
[It's not an accusation. Her hand comes up and rubs her shoulder.]
That's why I kept pressing. I worry for you.
[She folds her arms back on the bed, resting her chin on them as she looks at the teen.]
You're my closest friend here... you know?
[Her closest friend... and someone extremely important to her. Someone she...
Could be closer with, perhaps. If he feels the same way...]
no subject
Still, he wasn't in the mood to argue, nor try to persuade. Part of him knowing it'd only end up in another useless argument that he wasn't very interested in having. Not with how many the two of them seemed to have gotten into over the past few days prior to... well, this. Having her so close to tears already was also a helpful factor in keeping him from being his usual snarling self, but Fuuka generally brought out a softer side to him than he'd care to admit.
Even more so here than back home, apparently, which was why it was so difficult for him to keep up any walls around her. So when she brings up 'last time', Shinjiro visibly flinches and turns his head away. His jaw clenching because it wasn't like he didn't know that much already, hell it would have been stranger if Fuuka didn't care as much as she did, but hearing her say it out loud tugged at emotions he was still trying to sort out for himself.
And it was frustrating, because he still didn't know what to do about any of it.]
Yeah, I know. [A sigh, slowly letting his eyes travel back over to where she was resting in order to properly address her concerns. Or, at least one of them, in this case.] But that's not something you have to worry about. I wouldn't let it get that far.
[And he means it. Words stated so firmly, and much louder than his previous tone, that it was obvious he wanted her to understand that much, at least.]
no subject
So losing control of your Persona is where you draw the line, but this is alright? Shinjiro!
[No, no. Fuuka won't allow this. She won't let Shinjiro hold anyone's life above his own. Not only is it not right, it's so wildly inaccurate and unfair to him.
A hard sigh.]
You're still so reckless when it comes to yourself. Haven't you realized how important you are to us?
[If she wasn't so tired, her judgment would probably be a bit better. But it isn't; and she reaches out and lightly brushes some of the bangs out of his eyes.]
You have to stop thinking like this. It's not helping anyone.
no subject
So it's obvious that Shinjiro is doing his best to subdue his frustrations and irritations while listening - because he's willing to listen. Let her vent or speak her mind - but the fact she's doing this now only caused him to curl his fingers around the sheets beneath him.
Funny, too, that he wasn't expecting Fuuka to be the one he'd end up having this talk with.]
So what? You sayin' I made the wrong choice in saving you? Because if that's the case, you're dumber than I thought.
[There's a scoff, because he still can't honestly believe he's having this conversation. If anything, he's doing what he can to deflect the topic from going too much deeper than it already potentially has. Likely why he's being a bit more blunt in his words than usual, but the moment he feels her hand brush against his face he's completely caught off guard. A sudden rush of red that went all the way up to his ears, before he's quickly trying to bat her away. It's very gently, and without much effort put into it, but it's also because he doesn't know how to respond to her being so sweet to him like this. :c]
I get it, Fuuka. I do, I fucked up, but if it means you're not the one sitting in this god damn bed then I'd do it all over again.